The Idea of Choice

Fragmented thoughts

When you walk down a road alone, while walking, you experience a constant
rush of thoughts. Sometimes, you may feel the road beneath your feet,
sometimes you feel nothing. You are lost while you are on a path. Still you are
walking on the road, your mind may give it existence or not. Still it is there
and you are walking on it. You are lost in your own world while walking on it.
Is that road "eternity"? You do not have the power to make it eternal, it is
there, with or without your acknowledgment. It is there even when you think it
is not. With it's place right beneath your feet, it is does not let you
contaminate it with your thoughts or words. At the same time, it will give you
the right to do whatever you want to, still you can't damage it with your
thoughts of "giving it existence".
Is this what you call "eternity"?
As I said, not your words or thoughts can define it. Thus my words or
thoughts said above "does not define it". My words cannot reach "eternity". I
already said, it is neither a concept nor an idea, neither mine nor yours to give
existence to.

The acceptance of a man with a "pyrrhonian" approach towards everything in
life is difficult in this world, because most of the time they are interpreted as
weak personalities or misunderstood as someone "without a belief".

"Nothing can be known, not even this", is a belief in itself. It is only foolish to
consider them as men who do not take a particular stand on any subject. The
uncertainty is the belief. The lack of any belief is the belief. I think it takes
someone enormous amount of courage to believe in this kind of uncertainty
leading to suspension of judgement in a world where we are compelled to
make choices almost every moment of our lives. It takes colossal amount of
strength to introduce coherence between his pyrrhonian belief and his
actions.

In a world, where you are burdened with infinite questions, the answer being
"I don't know" is not a shameful thing, the answer being " I can't choose" or "I
can't take a side", is not dilemma or confusion.
It is only hypocrisy, to admire the concept of "walking down an unknown path"
but at the same time tagging men who actually performs the act to be
"indecisive".

It is important to realise and accept that living in uncertainty is a certainty in
itself and it is only half-witted to throw these kind of men into the bucket of
"weak personalities" or "spineless".

I am not here to even convince the world to accept, it's upto you what you do
but all I wish for is a little respect for others way of life and not look down
upon anything that is different from the lot.

We never grow up. We decay. We decay with time. From the very first
moment, we were created, we only decay. Every single moment that we live,
every breath we take, we only die. We convince ourselves that we live, we
strive for meaning of life but that is only a lie we tell ourselves for survival.

This is a very powerful lie, it is what protects us from realising that what we
believe to be growing and learning is in itself only "decay". We keep decaying
till we disappear into nature again.

Now will you strive to find the meaning of life or the meaning of decaying with
time? Will you chase the purpose of this phenomenon? Let me tell you, it is
pointless because you will only decay, so all the meaning and purpose you
give to it will also decay with time.

There is a thin line between awe and fascination. It might appear to humans
that they are "fascinated" by beauty, but I think that the word should be "awe"
there. Beauty is comfortable, it is contentment, it is indeed a very powerful
feeling but it is only "awe". "Fascination" on the other hand is something that
is "harsh", "extreme", "brutal". The northern lights can make you feel "awe"
but the everlasting lightning storm over the Catatumbo River is "fascinating".
Earth is beautiful but Mars is "fascinating". The word relates to something that
draws you, makes you uncomfortable, you cannot ignore it, yet you cannot
survive in it or sustain it.

Taking this idea into consideration, ignoring the strive for power or
dominance, going deeper into the human mind, I think violence is created,
disturbance is created by us because deep within we "fascinate" violence,
though we know it is only destructive and we cannot sustain it. So, it
happens, maybe only for a while, but keeps repeating over and over again.

We are not just self-aware of this kind of "fascination" because we tag it as
"inhuman", thus keeping it out consciously. Moreover it is conflicting to
ourselves, given the society we live in, to "accept" that we fascinate anything
that appears as a threat or is something with "extreme" destructive impact.
We are "tempted" to it, we only deny it.